From Atheism to Orthodox Christianity

I was never a very religious person, growing up I never attended church, except a couple of times with a friend when I was maybe 5 years old. I really enjoyed those few experiences. When I was little and would stay the night with my grandma we would pray a little prayer before bed sometimes, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.” I always thought it was a sweet, comforting thing to do before going to sleep.

I was always interested in religion as a child. I would often ask my parents why we don’t go to church. I never got a good answer. My mom grew up kind of religious. She says she read the entire Bible and went to Sunday school. And I think my dad attended church a few times at the local, small Brethren church. As they both grew into adults, any religious views they may have had deteriorated. Now in their 60s, they have zero interest in God. I recall my mom telling me that she just doesn’t know what to believe and that God may not even be real. As for my dad, he thinks God is real, but he has had an unforgiving bout of misfortune these past several years and it has worn his faith that God can do any good for him. It is so sad to see such beliefs take hold in someone.

As a child, not attending church or reading Bible stories eventually faded my ambition to become a Christian. It just goes to show that children really are much more in tune with the spirit world, I knew there was something there and I wanted to explore it, but the world has powerful forces that can easily tear down those beliefs. As I reached my teenage years, I began using a lot of alcohol and spending my time numbing any anxieties I had about God or how the world works. I was definitely into spiritual things, and experimented a good bit with yoga and meditation. I was fascinated with Buddhism and read a couple books about it.

By the time I was in college, I considered myself an atheist, I continued to practice yoga and experiment with drugs and alcohol. College solidified the beliefs in me that Christianity was ridiculous, that the Bible was just a bunch of made up stories and fairytales, and that people who were Christians had a low IQ. The truth is, I never even really read the Bible, or tried to be open-minded about Christianity. Science was my religion, and I thought Science had all the answers.

I graduated from college, moved across the country, and worked as a botanist for a non-profit in Nevada. I spent 10 days at a time off the grid in remote areas, just hiking and looking at plants. I had a lot of time to think about things. I always brought the Tao-Te-Ching with my on my hitches to read at night before bed, not realizing the vast similarities between Taoism and Christianity.

I was beginning to feel like something may be missing. I wanted to be a part of a community, so Elijah and I visited a local megachurch in Nevada a few times. I never really enjoyed that setting, it definitely did not feel Holy, it didn’t feel “right.” It felt very consumer-oriented, too big, not beautiful in any way, too modernized. And although it had a good community aspect to it, I did not feel drawn to that sort of religion. We stopped attending that church and quit seeking a church after that for a while.

Once my seasonal job as a botanist ended in Nevada, we moved back home. I spent months frantically applying for other jobs in my field, not having any luck with finding a job. Eventually, Elijah talked me into to stepping away from the traditional workforce and go all-in with him on building our art business.

Looking back, that decision was life-changing. Being out of the workforce and college enabled me to step back from it all. All the programming. For the first time, I had space to breathe; away from the constant pressure of college, career ambitions, and modern cultural expectations. I believed I should focus on my own success, help stop climate change, and definitely not bring children into an already “overpopulated” world. Boy, how my ideas have changed.

Over the next few years, my views on work, womanhood, and family shifted dramatically. Almost five years later, I haven’t returned to a traditional job, and I’ve never been happier with that choice. Elijah and I got married just after we moved back from Nevada in 2020. I went all-in on painting and building up our art business. I eventually started getting the idea that kids would be nice to have. We decided 3 years ago that we would want to try and have a baby.

At the end of 2023, we took a 3-month long trip to Europe, and during that trip we visited hundreds of the most beautiful churches and cathedrals, and saw some of the best art in the world. On that trip, Elijah began writing a book about the book of Genesis, from a secular, academic perspective, and together we talked endlessly about creation, life, and religious history. During his time writing the book, we both became increasingly interested in God, the origin of the world, and wondering which religion had it right.

When we returned home from Europe at the beginning of 2024, I was newly pregnant, and we were on the search for a church we could attend. Every weekend we would visit a different church. We tried out quite a few protestant churches, but they didn’t feel connected to the ancient stories and traditions found in the bible. We tried out a few Catholic Churches, I loved the art and style of most of the Catholic Churches, they felt a little bit closer to what we were looking for, but still, something felt off.

As Elijah started learning more about religious history, he told me he was becoming more interested in Eastern Orthodoxy. Yet, there was no Eastern Orthodox church around for us to visit that we knew of. Right around that time, we stopped looking for a church to attend. Then, on Fourth of July in 2024 at my grandma’s house, we had a picnic. My younger cousin, Wyatt just so happened to be carrying with him a book, The Catechism of the Orthodox Church. Elijah asked him about it. Wyatt said he was attending a new, local Orthodox Church, and that we should visit. Elijah went a few times without me, and then I started attending. We finally found a church that felt actually connected to the teachings of Jesus and the story of the Bible.

There are so many reasons why it was a no-brainer for me to join the Orthodox Church. The fact that the Orthodox Church has remained the same since the time of Jesus fascinates me, it is the original Church established by Christ himself and His Apostles. The fact that all the other denominations split off, or had disagreements with the original Church just didn’t sit right with me. If the Orthodox Church was the Church founded by Jesus himself, with a strict, unbroken line of succession of Bishops, faith, and doctrine, how could that not align with the Truth? I personally felt most comfortable choosing a faith based on what was true.

The word “orthodox” comes from the Greek words orthos (“straight” or “correct”) and doxa (“belief,” “opinion,” or “worship”), meaning correct worship. 1 Timothy 3:15 says the church of the living God is “the pillar and foundation of the truth.” Just knowing that the Church has remained true all this time takes a huge weight off my shoulders in trying to discern what is right and wrong, the Orthodox Church has had it all figured out since the beginning of time. The Church itself has such a strong and legitimate foundation, that I no longer have to personally interpret what each part of the Bible means. I can rely on an ordained priest who is trained in church history and Christianity who I can look to for spiritual guidance.

It is through the Orthodox Church that we know, receive, and correctly interpret the Bible. The Orthodox Church is who defined the creeds and has maintained the teachings of Jesus for 2000 years. Protestantism, on the other hand, is a relatively modern innovation and cannot maintain consistency. Protestant churches are continually disagreeing and branching off of one another, with thousands of contradictory sects. I prefer consistency and clarity.

Elijah and I immediately joined the Church’s Catechumen classes, and by November 2024, he and I were Chrismated, and Anna our daughter was baptized into the Church. Anna was the first baptism performed at our church. I have only been Orthodox for a year and a half, and at around the same time I also became a mother. It has been a busy time, and I am continually learning more and more about Orthodox Christianity.

The more I learn, the more I fall in love with Christ and His Church. It is not easy being an Orthodox Christian. Unlike protestantism, in Orthodox Christianity salvation doesn’t come from personal interpretation and individual belief. Sin is more than just a broken law; it is a spiritual sickness and the Church is like a hospital to heal your soul. Salvation is a life-long change inside you and requires submission to God and cooperation with His grace. Through the sacraments (like baptism and communion), prayer, repentance, and living the Christian life, God brings your soul and body into harmony and shares His divine life with you. The Christian life is not just a single moment of justification, it’s about becoming more like Christ over time. It is a life-long journey of repentance and a beautiful process of healing, which I am grateful to be a part of.